small kindnesses

HI Rebecca,

I need to tell you something. I know I don’t really know you but I think you will be pleased to read this.

A month ago there was a huge earthquake near my house. I was far enough away that while it was huge, it wasn’t scary and to honest I am not overly bothered by things like earthquakes. What I am afraid of is what happens afterwards.

A month ago my friend Jo disappeared in the CTV building. A day later the USAR teams stopped searching for her and others. My logic told me at the time that this was the sensible thing to do what with the Grand Chancellor hotel slumping towards the CTV building only a block away. My heart was angry because I then didn’t believe my beautiful friend could be dead. I knew it though.

I decided that I would do what she would have done if she were here and started to help others. I help coordinate the Farmy Army for a number of days, I pushed the Young Farmers to get involved. I encouraged them to raise money (probably more than $100k). I became one of the welfare officers, helping people that the Farmy Army diggers came across as they dug by hand metres and metres of slit. I connected people who had things like drinking water with foodbanks that didn’t. Community groups trying to feed their neighbourhoods with BBQs but no meat with meat companies who gave them steak and meat patties. I visited old ladies with no family who were bewildered and confused, panicked and stressed. I drove to friend’s houses on unsafe roads to give them what I could because I had drinking water and a flushing loo. I brought people home to my house to shower and sleep away from aftershocks. And so many people in Christchurch did all of this and more.

What was most hard about the last month was the waiting for news about Jo. The news came a week ago that they had identified her body. The building she was in had been on fire as well as collapsing. One of the hard things that I experienced was our cleaning lady who was proudly telling me about her son-in-law who is one of the USAR heroes and how he was working on the CTV building pulling charred bodies from the wreckage. I wanted to yell at her to stop but realised that I didn’t need to upset her too. It was enough to know someone was out there trying to help my friend.

Jo’s funeral was yesterday. It was a great funeral. Perfect for her and her children celebrated her life so wonderfully.

This morning I woke up and it was if a fog was lifted. As I drove to work all the things that I had organised over the last month but in reality weren’t ideal came to mind. I have a month’s worth of emails that have been answered but weren’t complete just because I have been earthquake stressed and grieving. The tent for field days was one of those things.

Normally I’d have a huge panic but today I thought I’d figure it out so when I sorted through my emails and reread yours I thought I’d just put it out there that the tent we had was fine but it could be better and then when you replied I thought I’d be cheeky and see what you could come up with. So when you actually did come up with a tent and had even organised to have it erected, I was thrilled. For the first time in a month I have been aware enough to actually notice that someone had done me a kindness and it was even more delicious because you weren’t even aware of my need for kindness.

So thank you for taking care of something I would have but the difference it made to have you do that for me is huge. It has made me feel almost human and very much more alive.

Thank you for organising this tent and thank you for being kind just like my friend Jo Giles would have been.
Sara