Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Try this on for size...

Emz was telling me a story yesterday, actually a real life event so she imparted an experience she had yesterday morning but before I get to it I wanted share a little about my experiences with the scary animal world.

This is Sterling, he is not a scary animal and is an angel according to Mags who keeps up all day long conversation with him anyway.... please note that this cat picture in no way relates to my single status.

I think every single cat I've ever had (except Sterling) has scratched me and for the most part I'd done something to warrant their irksome behaviour. Then a couple of years ago while I was collecting for Braille week, yes a charity for blind people, a charity for goodness sake! I got attacked by a dog. Weird thing about that was that it totally didn't hurt, I guess due to shock. I had teeth scars in the shape of a dog mouth on my calf for a few years afterward.

But it gets worse! I've been thrown from 'my' 17 hand (thats quite tall) horse and got myself a bruise on my sacrum (10 points to you if you know what and where that is) that was so deep that the bruise never surfaced and took 6 weeks of physio and a week of walking on beautiful, white sand beaches of North Straddie to heal and it still aches to this day.
Then only last year I got my forearm stood on by a cow while milking - please note I finished milking. That really hurt and came up as a hoof shaped, ridged mound on my arm for the longest time. So that my encounters with animals stories and now for the main event...
So Emz who lives on the wild side of SHwy1 found some pigs on her road, well one, three others were in a paddock already - she lives in the country so roaming animals aren't unusual, actually she has a lot of randomly roaming animals on her road usually cows - but she was dressed for town so didn't want to run around after the piggy in her town duds so she called a mate-who-shall-remain-nameless-forever-more to help. He rocked up with his farm hands and his pig dogs. Now who the heck brings pig dogs to corner a nice pink porker?!?! Really!?!? Sheesh you know this story/experience can only end in tears.
So the mate-who-shall-remain-nameless-forever-more's pig dogs go racing after this poor rather large pink pig cornering it like, to be fair, good pig dogs when the mate-who-shall-remain-nameless-forever-more cut the big pink pig's throat. Clearly the mate-who-shall-remain-nameless-forever-more thought he was up the back of never mind mountain and that unleashing the pig dogs was an acceptable way of rounding the swiney up. The instructions to the mate-who-shall-remain-nameless-forever-more was to get the pig over the fence into the paddock not kill it! Fa man! And then he kept the pig anyway and called up to offer some pork chops. Insult and injury upon insult and injury!
Neither parts of this post have much to do with each other really except to say animals can be scary so be very careful - especially you Oti cause your locals are a bit scary than most people's.

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